he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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