those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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