Do vagina's smell?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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