We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
