i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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