haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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