im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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