I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
