5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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