we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
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