his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
tell me about the fingering
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize