Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Randomize
