Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
