I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
