Duck Duck Cougar?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
