No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
