It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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