Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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