If i come over, it means nothing
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
