I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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