We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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