Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
