jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
