I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
