And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Randomize
