me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
