New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize