The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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