im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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