quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
