she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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