I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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