idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
