i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
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