so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
