Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize
