I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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