If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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