Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
