I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
