The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
vagina is talking i cant
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
She needs sedatives and a leash
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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