Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
