party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
