I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I have already put on my inside pants.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize