just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
