i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I know her cup size but not her name....
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
