If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
