the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I don't deserve a penis
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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