So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
