I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
