at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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