problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
