yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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