she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
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