I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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