ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
