So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Oh god it's open bar.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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