Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
