The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
