You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
